Jesse Foote

I've heard a lot of negaitve criticism directed at my pal Jesse Foote. The notion that Jesse would rip you off for 18 grand or would not cut a check is preposterous! If I had to make a wager, I would bet that the two of you were not worth your salt as salesman and now have taken the low road of cowardice and attacked a man that could not defend himself. The economy and the world is rough on everybody, real men learn to endure and succeed, losers go to the interent to express their grievances. Do your family a favor and stop blaming others for your obvious and utter shortcomings.

To give an example of the first-class character of Jesse Foote, I would like to detail a weekend that myself, mutual friends and Jesse spent together recently.

Jesse was gracious enough to fly us down first-class down to Georgia to play a couple rounds at the prestine track at Augusta. We offered to pay, but Jesse would not allow us to. I figure it must have cost him at least 3k for the tickets, and another 2k to play golf on that amazing track.

During the round, Jesse busted out 5 bottles of Dom Perignon, vintage from 2002. The taste was incredible and the bubbles were so delicate. My friends and I consumed the champaigne feeling giggly about how much this champaigne cost. As we were drinking the champaigne, we realized that Jesse was not drinking it, but using the champaigne to clean his golf clubs. We asked him why champaigne, and not water... He responded 'cause only losers use water to clean their clubs'. I figure the the bottles of Dom Perignon must have cost another 3k.

After we were done playing the golf and drinking the champaigne we went to the club to celebrate our great fortunes. Jesse told us not to look at the menus, and tha the had a surprise for us. The waiter brought out a 1lb tub of baluga caviar. It must have cost him at least 8k. There were a couple of hero rolls brought out with the caviar, Jesse took a huge glob of the caviar with a spatula, smeared it in a hero roll and encouraged us to do the same. Before that day, I have never had a thousand dollar sandwich, it was a little salty.

When we returned back to NYC, we bought some top of the line paint ball guns and drove downtown. We loaded up our paintball guns, drove over to the occupy wall street protestors, and unleashed a multi-color barrage on the 99%. Each time one of us scored a head or chest shot, we would yell "deal". I figure the guns cost about 1500 bucks. After we unloaded on those cry babies, we split a 2L bottle of Johhny Walker blue, and thanked all the cry baby losers that made this weekend possible. To think about it...this weekend cost about...18k...oh..whoops......thanks for the great tme guys